C.L. Stegall

George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michi­gan, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the gar­den shed, which she could see from the bed­room win­dow. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were peo­ple in the shed steal­ing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is some­one in your house?”

He said “No, but some peo­ple are break­ing into my gar­den shed and steal­ing from me.”

Then the police dis­patcher said, “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an offi­cer will be along when one is available.”

George said, “Okay.”

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then, he phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few sec­onds ago because there were peo­ple steal­ing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now, because I just shot and killed them both. The dogs are eat­ing them right now.” He then hung up.

Within five min­utes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Heli­copter, two Fire Trucks, a Para­medic, and an Ambu­lance showed up at the Phillips’ res­i­dence, and caught the bur­glars red-handed.

One of the Police­men said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”